If you thought last Tuesday was boring, tonight will be even worse. Instead of the Eastern Seaboard primaries of Our Nation's Capitol, Maryland, and Virginia, we have Wisconsin, Hawaii (Democrats only) and Washington State (again...somehow).
McCain is hoping to force Huckabee into a mathematical improbability that not even Tim Tebow could overcome with a headful of snow, and even if Obama sweeps tonight (to give him 11 straight wins) he will somehow still be locked in a virtual tie with Hillary. And yet every four years, these Tuesdays grab our attention.
Hillary Clinton, c. 1967ish
Goodbye, ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still Im gonna miss you...
--Brian Jones and/or Mick Jagger and/or Keith Richards, 1966
8:43 P.M.
Consider the WAC-PAC 10-Big 10 connection:
Wisconsin played Hawaii in 2005 and won 41-24 (63% of points scored).
Boise State beat Hawaii 41-34 in 2006.
Boise State lost to Washington 24-10 in 2007.
Hawaii beat Washington 35-28 in 2007.
In the 1960 Rose Bowl, Washington beat Wisconsin 44-8.
What the hell does all this mean? Nothing. Just like tonight's primaries.
10:19 P.M.
It appears as if McCain is going to sweep Wisconsin and Washington. Please don't give up, Mike!
--Mike Huckabee, "Team America" movie auditions, c. 2003
Train roll on many miles from my home,
See, I'm riding my blues away.
Tuesday, you see, she had to be free
But somehow I've got to carry on.
--Ronald Wayne Van Zandt, 1973
If there were any justice in this world, Mike Huckabee would play Hillary Clinton at Scrabble for the McCain/Obama runner-up slot, the NCAA would impose time-limit rules on TV networks instead of changing their own regulations to take away from the game, and blogger.com would make their posting interface more Firefox browser-friendly so as to avoid such ludicrous amounts of italics as we have seen here tonight.
--Templeton
3 comments:
Remember when Uzis were cool? Then John Woo wrecked everything with his sideways-gun stuff. Lame. Good luck with the recoil when you pull that stunt, punk.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah... this is like the first week of conference games after the last week of non-conference blockbusters. Tonight is the equivalent of Oklahoma-Baylor or Ohio State-Minnesota. I was going to throw in an SEC match-up to placate the SEC-premacists, but then I remembered that even the worst schools in the SEC beat the big dogs semi-regularly... because the conference is super-strong... or something.
Suggestions:
Mississippi State/Florida
Mississippi State/Auburn
Tennessee/Vanderbilt
LSU/Kentucky
Georgia/South Carolina
OK...out of ideas.
At 10 consecutive losses, Clinton is quickly approaching FIU status.
And I'll throw out the Obama-Illinois comparison, just for kicks. Illinois gradually picked up steam during the season, highlighted by a surprise win in Ohio State. We'll know for sure on March 4th.
Speaking of which, McCain has definitely taken over the role of Ohio State in this contest. Winning unconvincingly, but winning nonetheless. Nothing sucks the air out of the room quicker than inevitability.
Huckabee is your '07 Hawaii squad. Puts up impressive numbers on a weekly basis, but will never supplant the perennial front-runners like Ohio State.
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